sheer potentiality

I got rained on today.

That is all.

In case anyone cares, I didn’t find anyplace interesting to go this weekend so I’m just sitting around in my apartment.

Life is…usual and unusual all at once. Having been sick of winter for over a month, I’m now yearning for summer to return. Warm evenings on green grass, the dry Pullman heat during the day, happy solitude and carefree afternoons. I have this idealized image of summers here, and I know it has little to do with reality, but a few fleeting moments between Mays and Augusts in this town have lived up to it, and it’s these moments I remember. It’s these moments I want back more than anything.

But I can’t have them for very long this year, if at all. If my life goes well, I’ll have an internship. That means I’ll be stripped away from this place and put to work this summer, only to return, not to the happy summer Pullman of my memories but to a busy fall (or winter!) Pullman. As much as I reminisce about summers here, that’s simply one old memory I have to move on from, and hope that somewhere in my future there will be more like it.

There’s a three day weekend coming up. I was planning on taking a short trip somewhere, but I’m becoming increasingly convinced that “good place to visit during the winter” and “within a day’s driving distance of Pullman, Washington” are incompatible requirements. I’d rather not drive long distances over frozen roads, but getting to an unfrozen place would be worth it.

Most of Washington and Oregon are in range, as are Idaho, parts of Montana, and parts of British Columbia. Right now I’m going for “not frozen over”, although “more frozen over than Pullman so Pullman seems warm by comparison” is becoming an appealing Plan B. I’m looking for something far from civilization where there are likely to be few people around, something pretty and natural-like. In short, I’m looking for a couple days of beauty and solitude, preferably without freezing to death. I have a low budget and will most likely sleep in the back of a Ford Explorer (Not freezing to death is somewhat important, but not totally—I do have bedding and such I can cover myself with at night). I would like the opportunity to take pictures and such as well. I would leave, at earliest, Saturday morning, and return, at latest, on Monday.

I’m going to keep looking but it doesn’t look too promising. Any suggestions?

Stephanie Vita: Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I hate Valentine’s Day.
Philip Welch: Why don’t you like the anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre?
Philip Welch: You should take the opportunity to celebrate your Italian heritage.
Stephanie Vita: *laughs*
Stephanie Vita: I don’t have a boyfriend. So the romantic part of it is just crappy to me.
Philip Welch: There’s a romantic part to Valentine’s Day!?
Stephanie Vita: Yea, Phil. Where have you been?
Stephanie Vita: You know, couples, flowers, hearts, jewelry.
Philip Welch: Shhh!
Philip Welch: I’m trying to block that all out!

Join my crusade to take back St. Valentine’s Day. Romance is overrated. Celebrate the massacre instead, and deny that the holiday has any other significance! That’s what I do.

So how exactly do you celebrate the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre? (Note: The following suggestions are only valid within the United States, since that’s where the massacre took place. If you’re outside the United States, don’t celebrate American holidays. There’s probably something that happened in your country on Valentine’s Day, so celebrate that instead.

• Organize a tournament of your favorite violent multiplayer video game.
• Paintball and laser tag are also excellent ways to stage your own massacre.
• Re-enact the actual massacre. 1920’s-era dress and firearms optional, but they add to the authenticity. (Be sure to use blanks!)
• If you can’t stage a full-scale re-enactment, just go for the 1920’s-era dress. Violin cases are optional.
• Celebrate the Prohibition era in general by making some moonshine and smuggling it to your friends, listening to some jazz, or having a closed-doors party in your basement with plenty of liquor.
• Organize some crime yourself! You probably don’t want to go for violent crime, but most non-violent drug crimes are well within the spirit of Al Capone while remaining safe and victimless. Smuggling alcohol to your friends who are younger than 21 works, but you don’t want to do it in a disorganized manner. Organized crime is what we’re celebrating here! If you’re a complete coward, get some friends to jaywalk with you, or drive in a convoy 10 miles per hour above the legal limit. If, like Al, you don’t get caught until two years later, you’ll have good luck for seven years!
• While wanton violence and lawlessness is a key aspect of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre anniversary, don’t forget to celebrate your Italian heritage as well. Even if you don’t have Italian heritage, pretend that you do. It’s great practice for pretending to have Irish heritage next month. While Columbus Day is usually the day to celebrate Italian heritage, it’s also offensive to Native Americans because of Columbus’s involvement in slavery and genocide against their people. True, Italians might not want to celebrate their heritage by celebrating organized crime, but I fail to see how celebrating slavery and genocide makes them look any better.

One of these days, I’m going to get married and buy a house. When I do this, I’m going to have a urinal installed in the bathroom. There are three reasons for this. One, it would be an idiosyncrasy to have a urinal in my home bathroom, and that amuses me. Secondly, it would probably be more convenient. Most importantly, however, it will end all those stupid arguments about the toilet seat.

Of course, someone will have to clean the thing. But I have a solution for that too: do the bathroom completely in tile and install a self-cleaning system with a floor drain and high-pressure sprinklers on the ceiling.

This will, of course, necessitate a waterproof door. Somewhat like those from a Navy ship. True, my wife might object to the aesthetics of such a setup. But if it’s such a big deal to her, then she’ll just have to deal with me leaving the toilet seat up once in awhile.