sheer potentiality

I was directed to this survey recently. A few interesting notes:

• Why are Jews less popular than blacks among liberals? And Hispanics even less?
• Why didn’t anyone ask about Muslims?
• The popularity of hypothetical black candidates has skyrocketed in the past 40 years.
• The Jews and Catholics improved significantly between 37 and 67. Women too.
• Mormons are less popular!
• Atheists and blacks have dropped since 1999.
• Homosexuals gained between 20-30% since the 80’s.

Feigning ignorance of anything rendered obsolete by modern technology. As I recently commented, “I had no idea paying bills was something that entailed voluntary effort.”

Mike Klein: Maybe they’ll have transporters soon.
Philip Welch: That would actually eliminate all possibility of legal jurisdiction.
Philip Welch: Terrorists could beam people and things into outerspace.
Mike Klein: Well, that’s no reason not to build one!
Philip Welch: Major structural supports for large buildings could be beamed over crowded city squares, crushing people and causing fatal building collapses.
Mike Klein: Perhaps a device will be required on both ends.
Philip Welch: I always wonder why people on Star Trek never use the transporter as a weapon.
Mike Klein: I’ve never thought of that. It’s a very good point.
Philip Welch: You could beam everybody on the bridge into outerspace, or beam parts of the warp core into other parts of the ship, or beam out vital systems.
Mike Klein: Yes. As I said, though, my vision of a transporter requires some sort of box on both ends, which makes it less prone to abuse.
Philip Welch: Unless you beamed an atom bomb over.
Mike Klein: Well, you’d have to have one in the first place.
Philip Welch: In a single surprise attack you could eliminate an enemy country’s entire transporter network!
Mike Klein: I don’t like this anti-transporter talk.
Philip Welch: And also the crowded city squares where the transporters will undoubtedly be located!
Mike Klein: Perhaps it will require some sort of confirmation on both sides. In other words, it wouldn’t be possible to transport to a location without permission.
Philip Welch: And also, you could scan for dangerous things like atom bombs and kung fu masters?
Mike Klein: Exactly.
Mike Klein: And Chuck Norris.
Philip Welch: But they would still require vast amounts of energy. If you sabotaged a transporter, you could make things go boom.
Mike Klein: Kind of like an airplane.
Philip Welch: I’m blogging this. I’m also wondering why you’re the one I’m always blogging conversations with
Mike Klein: Well, the most interesting conversations are with people who are slightly nutso.

If anyone is reading this blog from Boston, Massachusetts, it is very possible that you are an idiot. I have taken it upon myself to educate the people of Boston, Massachusetts about a very important issue. If you are from Boston, please read this message.

Below you will see two pictures. Before you look at these images, I would like to personally assure you that my website is not an explosive device, so do not panic when you see these pictures. One portrays cartoon characters, and the other portrays an explosive device. Almost everybody who is not from Boston, Massachusetts can correctly identify which is which:

Stumped? Well, here is the correct answer: the first picture is of cartoon characters, while the second picture is of an improvised explosive device discovered in Iraq.

Pictured below is one thing. Your challenge is to identify whether this is an explosive device, or a representation of a cartoon character.

Now, there are many clues that we can use to determine what this device actually is. For instance, we can surmise from the glowing lights that this device is supposed to be obvious, and is clearly meant to be seen. This is not uncommon. Billboards, for instance, are often well-lit because advertisers intend for motorists to see them. People who plant bombs, on the other hand, generally do not want the bombs to be seen, because that would lead to their discovery. Instead, they want to hide bombs alongside roads, in trash cans, or in other places where they will not be discovered until they blow up.

(The people of Boston should know this second part very well, because their distant relatives in Ireland spent most of the last century doing this throughout England, often with the financial assistance of American Irish, from Boston and other American cities.)

Still, many people in Boston were confused and thought that the above advertisement was in fact a bomb. The Attorney General of Massachusetts, Martha Coakley, said the following:

“It had a very sinister appearance. It had a battery behind it, and wires.”

source

I assume by “a very sinister appearance”, she means that the Mooninite was scowling, with furrowed eyebrows, and a raised middle finger. I’ve never been to Boston, but from what I’ve gathered, that would describe the appearance of many drivers one would encounter in that city, and no one ever thinks they’re going to explode. As for the battery and wires…well, I see I have more work to do than I thought I did.

You see, things like lights are powered by something called electricity, which is an efficient way to transmit energy. Electrical charge can be stored in batteries, and is transmitted from a source (such as a battery) along something called a circuit, along wires. This is normal, and present within all sorts of devices, including cellular phones, computers, iPods, and other electrical devices. Even the electrical devices in your home use wires to connect to wall sockets, which themselves use a complex network of wires to connect to power plants.

Pictured below are a couple everyday items that are powered by large D-cell batteries:

None of the above items are bombs.

I hope this clarifies things.